Is a Bear Catholic?

Barton Springs Early Morning Swim Report, 12/5/2023

Raccoons? I thought querulously, as I walked onto the deck of the pool this morning. You should know that I am always thinking, querulously, raccoons at the pool in the dark. Two big lumps at a distance. Were they moving? I thought they were moving. Then a third, which was moving for sure, raccoons! but then that lump resolved into a human being, and then I realized that the first two lumps were gym bags.

Two days ago I thought I saw an arriving swimmer reading an enormous book while descending the stairs; then I realized she was carrying a pair of flippers.

Today I had a departmental meeting and then a bunch of student meetings and now I am mostly, though not entirely, done with the semester. Tomorrow I will block the internet and write in my office, fully feral. Though perhaps I will shelve some books and recycle some of the drifts of paper.

It was a perfect swimming morning: cold and clear. Somehow having mentally vanquished the raccoons who weren’t actually raccoons made me quite carefree. Afterwards, I abluted in the outside showers, and felt very hearty and (though hidden behind a curtain), very picturesque, like a bear in a children’s book, or perhaps a toilet paper commercial. Now it is the end of a long day and I’m wearing the bearish furry jumpsuit that I bought for after swimming, only to discover that it was impossible to don over damp skin.

I have just realized that the Charmin bears are the answer to the perennial question about ursine excretory behavior, when it comes to woods.