32 Comments
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Nancy Friedman's avatar

I've missed your swimming reports. Welcome back!

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Martha Conway's avatar

The way I read it initially, the two geese in the road were fucking. I’m going to still read it that way. Plus being horrible as individuals. My dog was once attacked by geese (they didn’t get to her swim goggles though).

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Benjamin Dreyer's avatar

"I'll say they are." 😬

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Elizabeth McCracken's avatar

I crack myself up, dear Benjamin.

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Benjamin Dreyer's avatar

As well you ought!

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Katherine C. James's avatar

That was my favorite line about those knobs.

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Moe Murph's avatar

Hello, Mr. Dreyer!

I have missed you on Now and Forever Twitter (never "X") and it is bracing to encounter you here.

I have a day job to support my pathetically slow writing process, and (sometimes reluctantly) participate on LinkedIn in the area of law operations and administration. I have met some interesting attorneys there who have a special focus on legal writing, and have recommended your book to many. I have also sent out about ten copies of the annual desk calendar as suitable gifts for the grammar-inclined.

Best regards,

Maureen Murphy

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Benjamin Dreyer's avatar

Maureen! Hello and thank you!

As ever,

B.

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Moe Murph's avatar

I apologize for the excessive deletions. I was trying to edit a mistake in my original comment. Here is my best recollection, Ms. McCracken.

"Capital work!

You are the type of writer who I would read on any topic. Your intrepid trips to the local pool are something I eagerly anticipate. The collection of words describing the overfriendly clerk are the most intensely British thing I have ever read. Here in America, one has to contend with constant chattiness, along with the ever-present threat of gunplay.

Once, whilst in a cab for home late at night, I had a bullet whiz by my face. It went in one open cab window and out the other. The bullet came so close I could smell hot metal. My main annoyance though (after the terror subsided) was the thought that I could have died so randomly, after pulling another night of overtime for a law firm that couldn't have cared less about me!

Best wishes,

Maureen Murphy

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Elizabeth McCracken's avatar

Alas, I live in Texas! We were in London for the summer, and had a strange experience that involved the police (maybe I'll write about it here), and I thought: how odd and wonderful not to think I might be shot to death at any moment.

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Moe Murph's avatar

Wow! I know exactly how you feel. The ambient random violence has been a strong motivator in my musing on retiring (when my mother passes on) to Brittany, which I like a lot. The cost of living is less than 60% that in Washington DC. We are lucky to have Irish dual citizenship, thus EU passports. I am SO tired of having to watch where you go.

It puts pall on everything... there have been incidences of bikers and walkers assaulted in the middle of the day on bikepaths and in broad daylight at lunch on downtown streets in DC in business district.

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Randi Triant's avatar

I spit out my coffee when I came to: “…I quit partly because the woman behind the desk was too friendly…” which, in turn, scared a violent gang of grackles from my bird feeder. Thank you for that as I have been searching for a fool-proof way to get rid of them. They are right up there with your knobs.

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Kathryn Warren's avatar

I was curious about the “too nice” person as well. I’ve been told I’m too nice in NYC, to which I usually reply, fuck you! I like nice!

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Elizabeth McCracken's avatar

Note, dear Kathy, that I said "friendly" and not "nice." I like nice too, but I am often repulsed by friendly.

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Kathryn Warren's avatar

Oops yeah that. Still curious about her. Did she hit on you or something?

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Spike Gillespie's avatar

I’m a North Side person and when I heard they were doing construction I got freaked out imagining the parking situation. Took me a while to get my bearings. Then the other day a friend wanted to meet on the South Side. I found this challenging. But I did it.

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Elizabeth McCracken's avatar

It felt like having my shoes on the wrong feet. But I will persevere!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Glad you made it in!

I remember you writing about the goose attack.

Four fierce geese regularly hung around a farm gate near us last year and would rush at us, hissing at the dog. They were notorious. Walkers would do detours to avoid them. Me too sometimes, if I had the grandchildren with me.

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Moe Murph's avatar

In the words of my neighbor here at our housing complex:

"These geese are Stinkers!!!!"

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Moe Murph's avatar

Just had urge to share. I have written a lot about our wild animals in my suburban complex (golden hawks, fox, deer, water heron, squirrels. raccoon, goose tribes) but my favorite animal was a rather goofy outlier (I could related) who I called Bachelor Goose. Here is a thread on my poem to him, if it suits:

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1464974566070046728.html

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Moe Murph's avatar

Thanks for the "like"... appreciate it very much!

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Randy Tibbits's avatar

I fully appreciate your fear of feathered "friends(?)". For me it's not so much geese - though I stay well away from them if I can - having grown up in West Texas where, in winter, great skeins of Canada Geese descended on the few lakes in the region, as they fled the frigid frozen prairies of their namesake land, for our more "temperate(?)" Panhandle plains. No, for me it's pigeons, who have made bull's eyes of my head and other parts 7 times (or is it 8 now) through my life, as I innocently went about my business in the world - though foolishly without a helmet or shoulder pads. Is it any wonder that I now walk in fear that at any time I may become target number 8 (or will it be 9), and cannot go into public spaces, such as Trafalgar Square or Piazza San Marco, without dread (and lots of paper towels).

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Elizabeth McCracken's avatar

Isn't "a skein of geese" the most beautiful phrase? I am sorry about the pigeons. They clearly talk amongst themselves.

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Don A in Pennsultucky's avatar

As soon as the story started -- well after the geese arrived -- I knew you would do it.

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

Does the pool have choline !??? One of my least favorite. I opt for cool, close to cold plunges in unsalted water. Geese poop especially on ones hair . Echhhh. I was attacked . Pigeons Trafalgar Square when I was 10.

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Maureen O’Connor Saringer's avatar

Well, I learned a new word today and will never forget taphophobia.

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Vivienne Leheny's avatar

Yep, looked that one right up. It's a good'un. (for a terrible dread, that is)

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Amanda McTigue's avatar

“Early mornings, I’m either thinking of what I will do next or I’m already doing it.” That’s basically me, 24/7. A tragic yet entirely comfortable life of ruts. Welcome home.

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Michael $&#'s avatar

“Back In Black” by AC/DC isn’t just a song; it’s a thunderous declaration of resilience and an ode to rebirth in the face of adversity.

Ok great title. 🔥

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Kathy Genet's avatar

Welcome to our side of the pool. 🙂

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Laura Lippman's avatar

Geese are the WORST.

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Vivienne Leheny's avatar

Fowl most foul. And them swans aren't too friendly, or *nice,* either.

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